The Bachelor Episode 7- It IS a Big Deal!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Hello Bachelor Nation, howdy and how-you-do?

This week Ben and his harem traveled back in time, I mean... back to Middle America to pay his hometown of Warsaw (not Poland) Indiana a visit!

Ben, being the Golden Boy that he is, was just cruisin' around the small town.,waving and thumbs-upping all the fine folk he stumbled across...

Ben is SO excited to be back in his hometown, which we learn is where he grew up... and had his 1st kiss... his 1st job...

You don't say?????????

Well aren't you lucky, Benny Boy... your 1st job was IN YOUR HOMETOWN???. My first job was in London. Don't get me started on how much of a b***h that commute from Oregon was. 

Ben has been NEEDING to be home. Things don't make sense to him, but they do now, cause he's home. 

All is right with the world again. 

He meets with his parents and runs down the pros and cons of each of the women, as we see a shot of them arriving in Warsaw and frolicking in some fallen leaves because that's what girls DO when it's Fall and we're traveling in packs.

Ben tells his Mom Emily is a twin, JoJo is beautiful, and Lauren just stood out to him from Day 1.

Ben's Mom just KNOWS he's going to find love. SOMETHING deep down is telling her.

The festivities begin as Ben pulls up to a dock (what is with this season and docks and boats, BTW??) driving a party barge that Caila has to stop with her bare hands. 

The girls are all kinds of giggling and their ovaries are just screaming to them... "move here! Make babies!!!" and Ben is all like "LOL you girls... I just love ya..." because their willingness to pretend to love Small Town USA just melts his heart. 

The girls get to their super cute little lake house and right away they start stressing. 

JoJo wants to push her relationship forward #PushItRealGood

Becca cares SO MUCH now and need validation....

And Lauren is still all sorts of nervous because of last week in the Bahamas not going over that well.

Ben HIMSELF announces there will be a 1-on-1 date with....... Lauren!!!

This pleases JoJo not at all, and makes her feel like she wants to put her guard up.

Ben takes Lauren on his "favorite" date... driving around and gawking at the outside of his old elementary school...#Hurrah

...then driving by the movie theater and hearing how he got his first kiss... #Whoopie

...and driving by his high school so he can relive his glory days of when he was... wait, what's that you say?? He was the QUARTERBACK???

Back at the house, the other girls are talking about how this week is a BIG DEAL because next week Ben going to go home with his Final 4 ladies and meet their families. 

No guy EVER has met Amanda's kids and she's not sure if she's ready yet... she might need more time.

Back at the date, Ben takes Lauren to a youth center he used to work at. They meet the kids, hang out, get pawed at, handed crumpled Kleenexes, change diapers, yell at them to "get down from there right now, you know you don't climb on the counter!" and other totally normal things you do with kids.

Good thing he picked Lauren for this date though.. Amanda has had kids. You know what that combined with jump rope means.

I mean, it happened to a friend once... a friend who isn't me....

Anyways, they bet some kid name Ronnie he can't make a half-court shot. If he does indeed make it... Ben and Lauren have to kiss. 

Shocker. Guess what happened?

Oh that coach. He's just all kinds of positive role modeling all over those kids. 

The day gets better though.. because Ben has a surprise!

Two NBA players that I don't know the names of! From whatever team plays in Indiana!


Ben (quite naturally, not prodded by producers at all) comforts a crying kid (who is quite naturally crying, not acting or set up or paid by producers at all) and shows Lauren that he's going to be an awesome Dad someday....

Lauren is so honored that Ben chose her to share this date with, and gave her the chance to get a glimpse into his life.

Ben, meanwhile is just lost in Lauren Land...

That evening, Lauren finally gets her chance to sit down and talk to Ben and clear up the snafu that went down in the Bahamas. 

Ben was worried because his feelings are growing, and these are BIG issues, because it's a BIG DEAL now... Lauren didn't know how to defend herself against Leah The Lame's accusations, and the whole thing just scared the dickens out of her. 

Lauren said today things came full circle though, and Ben makes her SO HAPPY.

They meet some friends of Ben's (or random ABC interns, who knows) for drinks at a bar and Lauren is in, like LOVE.... 

And (clutch the pearls!!) she's in LOVE with Ben from Warsaw...not Ben the Bachelor.

The next day JoJo is getting ready for her 1-on-1 date and Lauren comments how it's hard to be on a high... and see some other girl come home from her date all high.. and that all the girls at some point will be on a high...

JoJo is driven a few hours to the Windy City (is that in Wyoming?? the girls were confused...) and meets up with Ben, who takes her to Wrigley Field-home of the Chicago Cubs!

You guys. My husband like, legit DIED right about here. Talk about your die hard Chicago Cub fan... I'm slightly afraid he's going to try and leave me and apply to be the Bachelor just to get this exact date. 

JoJo and Ben take some batting practice....

And JoJo comes out victorious!!!

Naturally, after all that physical exertion, one would be quite exhausted so laying flat on the ground is most appropriate.

Back at the house, Twin Emily is hopin' and wishin' and prayin' that the next 1-on-1 date will be for her.

And when the date card arrives and announces Becca, Caila and Amanda as the Group Date participants... it all becomes clear to Twin Emily that she WILL get that 1-on-1... but somethings unanswered prayers are the real blessing.
Better turn 'em inside out, girlfriend

Back at the date, Ben and JoJo sit down to their cold untouched dinner and Ben does what he does best. 

Dig and dig and dig until the girl cracks and spills her soul about what is making her scared, nervous, or aloof about this most NATURAL dating process.

Ben knows he's falling for JoJo but needs to make sure she feels confident going into Home Town dates because those are a BIG DEAL. 

JoJo is terrified and scared and needs to feel safe... which she doesn't. 

She gave 150% in her past relationship and wants badly to give him her ALL (whoa there girl, Fantasy Suite dates are yet to come!) but is scared... but since he asked her to..... ok, cool. She can open up.

She's TEAM BEN now and ready to... shall we say.... DIG IN???

Back at the house, Becca is slowly imploding.

When she was on this show LAST time, she needed more time to fall in love with Chris. Well, THIS time she's like so there and can actually see a future with Ben... but feels like he's not giving her anything back... so why the heck is she even here?????

The next day is the Group Date and FemBot... I mean, Amanda... is oiled and programmed and going in for the kill.

All the girls are nervous because it's a BIG DEAL now... it's almost Home Town dates and it's every girl robot for herself.

The group arrives at a farm and go on romantic 2-person boating excursions... with Ben and Caila naturally (not prodded by producers at all) end up in a boat together. 

Caila is so over Group Dates and is really happy this is the LAST one she will EVER have to go on...

Ben announces that the rose on the date is a BIG DEAL because that person will automatically get a Home Town date next week, and the lucky lady will get to spend the rest of the day basking in his glorious man-scent.

He must choose his lucky lady wisely....

He takes Amanda away to talk, and she is just so nervous, hearing about what a BIG DEAL this rose is... because she has a past... which isn't really a bad thing, but not really a good thing... just more like a minor inconvenience that can be easily remedied. 

Becca has been so stressed and insecure... because (it's madness, really...) there are OTHER GIRLS here.

Becca is just so frustrated... she feels like she is getting nothing back from Ben, and all the other girls are getting stuff, and she's ain't getting sh** and she likes him so much and it's so hard to not hear him say words back to her.

The girls are (again) talking about what a BIG DEAL this rose is (we get it already!!!) when Ben comes in to grab Caila to talk. In that instant my super observant husband states: "She's just playing the game"

I couldn't agree more. I like Caila ok.. but she's this season's "always on" girl. Always saying the right thing. Always just coy enough. Just sweet enough. Just mysterious enough. Just vulnerable enough. 

*cough-Bachelorette Audition-cough*

Caila tells Ben she's worried to bring him home because he's so Middle America and she moved 17 times before college and doesn't have those strong roots. 

However, she's like moss (weird, I'm more like a succulent) and she's been raised to be adaptable and just needs the perfect tree to cling to.

She swoops Ben in for what my husband says is the most awkward hug ever...

But despite that tender moment, Ben gives the Group Date rose to Amanda!

Becca pretty much loses her mind at that point and cries for most likely the first time EVER and asks what more could she have done? 

What more, she wonders... WHAT MORE???

I didn't say that... Mom... forget I said that. 

Moving on. 

Caila, on the ride home, starts to wonder what the heck Ben wants... 

Amanda and Ben continue on their super romantic (not at all a paid advertising ploy) date and head to McDonald's!!!

Hey, I can't knock it... my high school boyfriend worked at McDonald's (don't judge, he was cute) so I had many a date at the ol' Micky-D's. And I even got free sundaes, so there. 

Ben asks the nice lady behind the counter if he can come around and help them work because that's always been his BIGGEST dream.

They work the drive thru and make a failed attempt at the Lady and the Tramp scene with a soggy french fry... much to Amanda's size-0 dismay....

Amanda tells Ben there is no pressure in meeting her kids next week... (wink wink)

And after their fill of fries, head off to a street carnival where the whole town has come out to greet them and bow down to the big TV stars!

Isn't that Mayor cute? 

Bless his heart. 

They go on some rides, even though rides scare Ben just a lil' bit...

And Amanda says that she can see living there... and that she's close to falling in love.

Uh huh. Sure...

The next day Ben comes to pick up Twin Emily in a pontoon boat and they jet off on some lake to another romantic date location...

...hanging out with Ben's parents.

Emily is just so HAPPY and knows that meeting the folks is a BIG DEAL... just like her discovery of what swans look like.

Back at the house the other girls question if Emily is mature enough for marriage and being a wifey and Caila #NailsIt by saying that Emily is just like a bright eyed puppy. Everything is new and exciting to her.

After nosing around in Ben's room for a bit, he calls to his parents to come join the fun and Emily JUST CAN"T EVEN

She's so nervous and needs to rely on her conversation skills to really drive this thing home today and win over Ben's parents. 

What happening next was epic.

Twin Emily had diarrhea of the mouth and told Ben's mom and dad...
-she's young
-she overthinks
-she struggles
-she's learned a lot
-she knows things she didn't know
-she's blossoming
-she wants to be a cheerleader
-she's young
-she wants to do so many things
-she is average in so many things
-she likes to watch movies all day

...but she doesn't hate much. Just vegetables. Whatever those are.

Ben and his mom have a little chat about the potential future-Mrs.-Emily-Twin-Higgins...

Ben though, is still open minded because he's learning so much about her...

When they rejoin Twin Emily and the dad, she's just all kinds of feeling good and special and giggly.

Ben knows what he wants in a wife though... and when he takes Twin Emily back to the house, he does what any respectable gentleman would do. 

He sits her down in plain view of the house and tells her he can't see her being his wife... while the girls are lurking and channeling Dr. Seuss....

Ben, full of sadness and regret, watches Twin Emily leave, with pain in his heart...

Twin Emily explains to the girls what just happened... and GAWD IT HURTS SO BAD!!!!!

That night the remaining girls head to the Rose Ceremony... and Ben is having a tough time with his decision because it's a BIG DEAL this week. Our illustrious host Chris comes to Ben's aid for a little man-chat to help clear things up.

It's down to the last rose and it goes to...... 


That love potion in the apple must have finally taken affect.

Becca is PISSED and asks Ben twice HOW COULD HE??? because she SPECIFICALLY ordered him NOT to blindside her... 

Becca leaves in tears and Ben is left wondering how on earth he got into this pickle...

Our Golden Boy is losing his luster...

Guys, this is a such a BIG DEAL....

Will Ben find love??

See you next week Bachelor Nation, when we are off to the girls' Home Towns!!!


  1. This was the episode of the most horrible dates ever! Playing with random kids at the YMCA and working behind the counter at McDonald's?! Give me a break! I kept watching those dates thinking about how much I would have hated them! I don't care how cute you are Peter Brady, ABC needs to step up their date budget. Wasn't Emily's date painful? I'm glad she's gone, but I was so embarrassed for her.

  2. I haven't seen a single episode this season! How is this possible?! I swear I need to find more time in my life for such things...maybe while sewing baby blankets?!

  3. Ahh I feel like I missed a great show! Great recap, as always! Love that your husband watches this show, too.

  4. Haha this is fabulous!! My husband watches along with me too - makes it more fun!

  5. I don't think Ben will find love. He should run screaming for the hills.

  6. I love these so much. I look forward to your post every week. Love the fembot outlook on Amanda too.

  7. Your commentary has been more enjoyable than the entire season. Love it. Never stop.


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