The Bachelor Ben- Meet His Brady Bunch!

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Ok, so I'm going to just lay it out there. 

I am a SUCKER for The Bachelor

I randomly DVR'd it years ago and watched it while I was on maternity leave with Austin because I had nothing else to do but sit on the couch with my boob out all day and nurse my newborn. 

Well, I got HOOKED.

Like I read Reality Steve, I read other blogs about the show, I buy gossip mags with the Bachelor people on the covers... kinda hooked.

It's disgusting really, but I figure I could have worse vices. 


That being said... this little blog of mine is going to feature recaps every week of The Bachelor!!!

Otherwise known as "The Most Unrealistic Reality Dating Show Ever That We All Love To Hate." 

I hope you join me for my recaps... there will be some wit, some snark, some DRAMA... because there is always drama


But before we can get to the lovin' and the cryin' and the crazy... we have to meet the girls!

ABC has posted the bios of all the contestants just trying to win love matches and they are always a hoot. 

Let's check out who Peter Brady our Strapping Bachelor Ben is about to meet!
Seriously.. it's Peter Brady guys!!!

I am linking each girl's bio if you want to read the whole thing.. I am only going to post their basic info and some of the more funny/ridiculous/give-me-a-break snippets

And please keep in mind this is ALL IN GOOD FUN. This show begs to be made fun of... my intention is never to be mean.


Age: 25
Occupation: Esthetician
Favorite Music: I love all kinds of music. Pop and country are probably what I listen to most often.
All-Time Favorite Movies:Grease, Bridesmaids, and The Notebook, of course
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot weather because I live at the beach.
Do you have fear of aging, and are you doing anything to prevent it? Yes, I use an anti-aging skincare line, always wear sunscreen and get botox.
**"Do you fear aging???" What kind of question is that? That seems like a trap to me and they are just trying to make her sound vain. And please tell me she doesn't do her own Botox.

Age: 30
Occupation: Bartender
Can't live without: Teddy bear, Mom, best friends, brother
Biggest date fear: Loving someone and them not feeling the same way
**Ok, biggest dating fear...loving someone? Like on a first date?? RUN BEN!!! Not to mention she was on a prior season... sooooo #BitDesparate

Age: 26
Occupation: Chiropractic Assistant
Can't live without: Food, family, friends, Wi-Fi, Netflix
Biggest date fear: Having stomach issues and clogging up a toilet, a la Dumb and Dumber
**Bachelor fans will know that Becca was the runner-up on the last season with Chris she is either back for more TV time and attention, or.... well, I'll just go with that answer. She's gorgeous... but a bit too mellow and "real" for this type of show (ie-boring).

Age: 30
Occupation: Nutritional Therapist
Favorite Music: Lana Del Rey, Lady Gaga, Beyonce – they are incredible women who love themselves and are confident to share their gifts with the world!
All-Time Favorite Movies:That Thing You Do!, Anchorman, Notting Hill
Cold or Hot Weather:? Hot for sure! I love sunshine (makes you happy!) plus you can show off the body you have worked for all winter.
**Wait.. you're supposed to work on your beach body all winter??? Huh? Isn't winter all about cookies and leggings and being fat and happy and then when summer comes around going "oh sh**... I shouldn't have had so much gravy.." ??? Remind me NOT to hang around this chick in the winter. She'll be over there doing push-ups making me feel all bad while I eat my Peppermint Bark.

Age: 24
Occupation: Software Sales Rep.
Favorite Music: Coffee House music like Brett Dennen, Colbie Caillat, Ingrid Michaelson, U2 (reminds me of my Dad), Peter Fox (German singer with amazing fusion music)
All-Time Favorite Movies:My Fair Lady, Count of Monte Cristo, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Cold or Hot Weather?:  I prefer fall weather, so I guess cold because you get to cuddle up close.
I hate it when my date… Curses… picks their nose/overly wipes their nose… breathes heavily… is too protective too soon….gets so cheesy that it seems fake, like, “Here is a leaf on a bush we passed on our first date because I’m a romantic guy.”
**Note to all men wanting to date this chick... just basically ignore her because apparently she gets annoyed about EVERYTHING and heaven forbid you get the sniffles around her!!! Sheesh. #Relax

Age: 22
Occupation: Twin
Favorite Music: Country Music
All-Time Favorite Movies:Horrible Bosses, Bridesmaids, The Notebook
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot weather -- I would rather sweat than be cold.
**Her occupation is "twin?" So your job is just what you were born as? So can I say my occupation is "badass girl" since I was born as such? 

Age: 22
Occupation: Twin
Favorite Music: Country and Alternative
All-Time Favorite Movies: Just Go With It, We Bought a Zoo, Dear John
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot weather. I grew up in Vegas. I hate the cold!
**Shocker. Her occupation is "twin" as well. And these two used the word "classy" one too many times in their bios... which tells me they are going to be train wrecks. 

Age: 24
Occupation: Graphic Designer
Favorite Music: Mumford and Sons, Taylor Swift, Beyonce
All-Time Favorite Movies:Super Troopers, The Notebook, The Parent Trap
Cold or Hot Weather:? I love hot/warm weather because it just feels so good. But I definitely do not mind a ski/snowboarding weekend trip here or there.
**She's not a reader but she enjoyed the first 150 pages of Fifty Shades of Gray and if she could be a fruit she'd be a banana....ummmm.... I'm at a loss for words. Call me crazy but this might be the resident party-girl-get-kinky-in-the-hottub-contestant

Favorite Music: Country and Rap
All-Time Favorite Movies: Seven Pounds, Elf, March of the Penguins
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot weather – I grew up in SoCal and love being warm, always.
If you wanted to really impress a man, what would you do and why? I would do something really thoughtful for him like create a piece of art or some sort of craft. I think spending time and effort on someone else goes a long way.
**Honey, that is not how you impress a man. I told Neal I wanted to take one of those drink wine and paint a painting classes with him and he looked at me like I had bees flying out of my head. No. You make him some good food, let him watch some sports on TV. Maybe offer a neck rub. That's how you impress a man. Good luck with those crafts. And her occupation is a what?? I had to Google that. She studies aging. Maybe she should be besties with Botox girl and tell her the secrets of looking young.

Age: 23
Occupation: Bartender
Favorite Music: Drake (Canadian and a sweetheart), Lil Wayne (he seems very smart with his raps), Beyonce (because she is a goddess)
All-Time Favorite Movies:Stepbrothers, The Hangover, Clueless
Cold or Hot Weather:? Hot. I love to relax in the sun and more activities.
What does being married mean to you? Spending every day with your best friend and having daily adventures.
**"Daily Adventures"... roughly translated to who's going to help the 3-year-old wipe his butt, someone's gotta put the mountain of laundry away, help me make a list of what we need at the grocery store, and getting mad when the other person dries your pants and shrinks them. Yes. Daily Adventures. That's what marriage is.

Age: 25
Occupation: Small Business Owner
Favorite Music: Country: Sam Hunt, Zac Brown, Chase Rice
All-Time Favorite Movies:Something Borrowed, The Holiday, Divergent
Cold or Hot Weather:? Hot. Lived in South Florida forever, it’s what I’m used to!
**Small Business Owner.. that's vague. So she has a paper route? What other business can you possibly "own" at the tender age of 25?? Oh... maybe it's a lemonade stand!

Age: 23
Occupation: Accountant
Favorite Music: Luke Bryan – great country singer, Kygo – more relaxing music, Lil’ Wayne – best rapper alive
All-Time Favorite Movies:Dodgeball, Transformers, Sleepless in Seattle
Cold or Hot Weather:? Both. Hot weather for outside activities and cold weather for cuddling.
If you could be a fictional character, who would you be, and why? Robin Hood. He’s a badass, but has good intentions and a good heart and he is romantic.
**I had high hopes for my namesake and she doesn't disappoint! Good normal answers...#JessicaForTheWin

Age: 24
Occupation: Real Estate Developer
Favorite Music: I love country / Ed Sheeran type music and some popish Indie, like LANY.
All-Time Favorite Movies:Wedding Crashers, Clueless, Patch Adams
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot over cold. Being too cold can hurt. Lol.
**How are you a Real Estate Developer at age 24?? Shoot. I was just out of college, living with my parents and working a $9.00 an hour customer service job. Is there some "excel early in life" memo I missed along the way or something??

Age: 24
Occupation: War Veteran
Favorite Music: Country (Don’t judge me, LOL!) and R&B
All-Time Favorite Movies: Lord of the Rings, The Notebook, Newsies
Cold or Hot Weather:? Definitely hot weather. I’m anemic and always cold, so the hot weather is nice.
What is your greatest achievement? Joining the military at the age of 18 and making it through 4.5 years of active duty.
Will you go on roller coasters or other rides? If Ben kisses me first, I will consider risking my life :)
**She likes Newsies??? "Arise and seize the dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But wait.. she was in active duty for 4.5 years yet thinks she'll die on a roller coaster?? Hmm... me thinks she is playing that up a bit to win a kiss. #WellPlayed

Age: 25
Occupation: Real Estate Agent
Favorite Music: Rap, R&B and Country
All-Time Favorite Movies: Dumb & Dumber, The Best Man Holiday, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot. I hate being cold. You can cool down in a pool!
What is your most embarrassing moment? When I had a guy I liked over for drinks and I forgot I pooped before he came over and he used my bathroom and saw it. We couldn't even talk we were laughing so hard!
**Ummm... has she not heard of flushing??? Even the super crunchy granola types who try and conserve water know that "if it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown FLUSH IT DOWN"

Age: 24
Occupation: Account Executive
Favorite Music: R&B, Pop and Rap
All-Time Favorite Movies: Remember the Titans, Under the Tuscan Sun, Bridesmaids
Cold or Hot Weather? : Cold weather. The clothing options are so much cuter in the fall and winter. Think of all the boots!
What are five things you can’t live without? Family, friends, key lime pie, sunscreen and Pinot Noir
**Laura... let's be friends! She loves winter because of the boots (bet she's not working on her "beach body" all winter long like some people) and can't live without wine and key lime pie. How much you want to bet she doesn't last past Night 1? This chick is too normal. #SighLoveHer

Age: 23
Occupation: Fashion Buyer
Favorite Music: Rap
All-Time Favorite Movies:Love & Basketball, Pretty Woman, Parent Trap
Cold or Hot Weather?: Hot! I’m always cold.
If you could be any animal, which one and why? Dolphin; I love to swim and make people happy!
**She's the third girl so far who would want to be a dolphin. Apparently dolphins are the unofficial Animal of The Bachelor. What ever happened to wanting to be a cat so you could nap all day?? I know that's my life goal.

Age: 25
Occupation: Flight Attendant
Favorite Music: Hip hop/Dance/R&B/Country
All-Time Favorite Movies: Home Alone, The Departed, Titanic
Cold or Hot Weather?: Warm! I love the sunshine. I especially love dusk (favorite time of day) and hot nights are so amazing.
If you wanted to really impress a man, what would you do and why? Cook a home cooked dinner because who doesn’t love a home cooked meal?
**Props to Lauren B! She needs to go talk to Arts & Crafts girl and tell her how to really impress a man. Otherwise poor Ben will be receiving a beaded bracelet that says "U & ME 4EVER"

Age: 25
Occupation: Kindergarten Teacher
Favorite Music: Popular/hit list stuff. Also stuff from growing up. 90s stuff.
All-Time Favorite Movies: Elf, Legally Blonde, Mean Girls and Hangover
Hot or Cold Weather?: HOT! Because there is more to do outside.
If you could go anywhere in the U.S., where would you go and why? California – because that’s where The Bachelor mansion is. :)
Where do you see yourself in five years? Ah, I’ll be 30!! FML. Hopefully married! And either thinking about babies or with one or two already.
**Oh no. Here's the token Kindergarten Teacher (there is always one) and the token Really Wants to Get Married Girl. Gasp!!! Guys!!! In five years she'll be 30!!! Egads!!! The horrors!!! This one is on a MISSION. And should get some bigger goals.. go anywhere in the USA and you'd pick the Bachelor Mansion? 

Age: 26
Occupation: Math Teacher
Favorite Music: I'm across the board... All genres! From Pachelbel to Drake. I love mainstream stuff, too, like Luke Bryan and Maroon 5. Open to anything "catchy".
All-time Favorite Movies: All of the Harry Potter movies, The Notebook (cliche, I know. I can't help it. I can't turn it off when it's on), Forest Gump, and Batman movies (I can't leave that one off...)
If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be and why? The future me. I like my life and I'd love to see a glimpse of what's in store for me later in life. I would hope a nice husband and an army of children.
**She wants an army of children? Good luck with that. I bet she just wants to yell "Minions! Assemble!" 

Age: 25
Occupation: Event Planner
Favorite Music: Anything that has a good beat and lyrics and I can cycle to
All-Time Favorite Movies:Bridesmaids, Interstellar, The Dark Knight
Hot or cold?: Hot weather. I hate the feeling of being cold.
What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done Probably twerking on the wall in my dress during my Bachelor interview.
**And now we know why she was picked... call me crazy but we might be seeing some more twerking from this one in the future.

Age: 30
Occupation: Cowgirl
Favorite Music: Red Dirt Country (TX music)
All-Time Favorite Movies: Secretariat, Iron Man, Old School
Hot or Cold Weather?: Hot, hands down! I hate having to get all bundled up to go outside.
Do you have a serious fear of any kind of animal? Snakes. I’ll chop their heads off with a shovel if I find them on our property!
**I admire this chick's snake killing techniques. I want her to walk with me in tall grass at all times. I hope she doesn't last too long on the show though.. typing her name goes against how my fingers want to type and that's gonna get annoying real fast. #Hunt-n-Peck

Age: 28
Occupation: Dentist
Favorite Music: House, EDM
All-time Favorite Movies: Dazed and Confused, Happy Gilmore, Bridesmaids
Cold or Hot Weather?:
 Hot --  love being in a swimsuit.
If you could be any animal, which one would you be and why? A free-range chicken, because they do whatever they want and lay delicious eggs.
**Ok not to be mean but her eyebrows scare me a bit... little intense there. And she wants to be a chicken so she can do what they want? A CAT people. You want to be a cat so you can nap all day. Or a bird so you can fly. Or a horse because they are majestic... a chicken so you can walk around and poop where you want and lay eggs??? Ummmm...

Age: 23
Occupation: News Anchor
Favorite Music: Alternative
All-Time Favorite Movies: Titanic, Shawshank Redemption, Anchorman
Cold or Hot Weather?: Cold weather because I’m a huge fan of hot chocolate, scarves, flannel sweaters and cuddling.
What are you most afraid of? I don’t fear much except ending up alone. I’ve been on my own so much and I’m so independent. I would hate to wake up one day with everything I’ve worked so hard for but there’s no one in bed next to me.
**Again, someone who got the memo on how to have a ridiculously successful life at a young age. Her biggest fear though... eye roll. Honey. Read your own bio. You are 23. TWENTY-THREE. You've got... at least another 5-6 years before you need to start panicking about being a lonely old hag.

Age: 23
Occupation: Unemployed
Favorite Music: Pop/Hip Hop/Rap. Usually just whatever is trending.
All-time Favorite Movies: The Parent Trap, Sound of Music, Pride and Prejudice
Cold or Hot Weather?:
 Hot! I like being tan and I get cold easily anyway. More things to do outside in warm weather!
**She apparently didn't get the memo about filling in your occupation. All of these "jobs" are suitable in Bachelor World to cover up unemployment: Free Spirit, Life Lover, Bartender, Cocktail Waitress, Actress (remember that play you did when you were 12??), Student, Entrepreneur. You're not actually supposed to state your unemployment! #Rookie

Age: 26
Occupation: Attorney
Favorite Music: Country
All-Time Favorite Movies: Remember the Titans, Strangers, The Bone Collector
Cold or Hot Weather? : I like both – hot because of the beach and cold because of snow.
**Thank you Captain Obvious for telling us reasons to like the cold or hot weather. I thought people liked the cold because of the chapped lips and the hot because of the under-boob sweat.

Age: 27
Occupation: Mathematician
Favorite Music: Deep House, EDM, Russian
All-Time Favorite Movies: Inception, Shutter Island, Fast & Furious
Hot or Cold Weather?: I like both!
What do you hope to get out of participating in "The Bachelor"? At some point I stopped believing in love again. I thought something was wrong with me or I’m just so busy that I don’t want anyone in my life. Maybe this get away will help to open my eyes and meet someone special. And even if it doesn’t happen on the show, I believe this show will help me with my hopes and loss.
**Her hopes about this show are a little skewed methinks. It will help you with your hope and loss? Might I suggest a journal, some quiet time and maybe a counselor? Call me crazy but I don't think going on a show that is all about rejection is the best way to overcome your heartbreak.

Age: 26
Occupation: Chicken Enthusiast
Favorite Music: Rap, techno, sometimes country
All-Time Favorite Movies: Other Woman, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, The Notebook
Hot or Cold Weather?: Medium weather. Too hot makes me feel uncomfortable.
What is your guiltiest pleasure of any kind? Chickens. If I see chickens anywhere, I want to stop and hold them.
**Thank you Bachelor folks for making up the stupidest "occupations." I mean, really? Well I guess she shouldn't put all her eggs in this one basket and hope she gets picked. Hardy har har. At least she has something to fall back on. Chickens never desert you. Chickens understand.

Only 3 more Mondays until the crazy romance can begin!!

Who are your favorite girls so far?