The Bachelorette Ep. 8- O Brother, Where Art Thou??

Oh hey there Hometown Dates! I don't know about you, but I was all like this in anticipation for this episode.....

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#MovesLikeJagger

Side note- that GIF is from the movie O Brother Where Art Thou which is on my top 10 list of "Movies That Made Me Go WTF" I mean, really. Weird movie. Anyways.

Let's get to it!

First up JoJo is in Colorado for Chase's date! She is so excited to meet families and see how she'll fit in, and what kind of life she'd live with each of these guys... sadly, the snow and cold seemed to thrill her not so much....



#YouGotEmFlauntEm

Methinks JoJo is happiest in bikinis and shorty-shorts and all things NOT Colorado.

What she is into though, is wanting desperately for Chase to OPEN UP ALREADY DAMMIT and be vulnerable, because he's been slower to burn... but when she said "open up" she didn't mean the fly of his jeans...

#PassThePurel

They enjoy a little mountain top picnic while sitting on a flat dead animal and then head back to Chase's house to meet just his Dad. Why? Well in case you missed it, Chase's date was all about these three important things:

1. his parents are divorced and he's damaged
2. he's damaged because his parents are divorced
3. divorce can lead to damage which can then lead to f**ked up humans who try and go on reality dating shows.

Chase's Dad has since remarried and has "several" step-children, so it's quite a miracle he escaped the commune long enough to have a chit-chat with Chase and JoJo. The "several" children didn't fare so well, though...

#LittleHouseOfScientology

In true Bachelorette awkwardness, Chase decides to ask his Dad right there why the divorce happened, and say how much it hurt him....

 
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#SoCalledLoveExperts

Dad explains he worked too much, and he doesn't want Chase to make the same mistakes (it's ok Dad, he'll be Instagram famous now and will never have to work again!!) and then asks Chase if he's thought about how he'll feel if JoJo doesn't pick him...

#Icecube'sChanceInH-E-DoubleHockeySticks

Chase ain't thinking 'bout that though, and off they go to his Mom's house to meet the rest of the brood.

JoJo and Chase's Mom talk about how much she can tell Chase likes her, but then JoJo shoots back- LOL!!! Chase talks about you and loves YOU, Mommy! No, JoJo silly! He's like cray for you!!

And basically nothing came out of the conversation but damn that Hollywood sound set really looked like an upscale Colorado yard, did it not? I mean, nice touch on the ski lift turned bench, and the lighting on the fake trees...

#OnPoint

Seriously. That can't be a real yard. It looked SO fake.

Chase and his Mom talk and she asks if he'd be ready to propose, because he's never really fallen in love (remember, divorced damaged kid and all) and he says "hecks yes I'm ready!" because he's ready for that new chapter, whatever that chapter may be...

(oh, and I am NOT making fun of kids of divorce. I know plenty of them and they are perfectly normal people. I just find it funny how amped up the show made his divorced family situation)

Well, totally on his own (not influenced by producers at all) Chase admits he's falling in love with JoJo, which she was SO happy to hear... but is it too little, too late???

#Whoops

On to the next date with Jordan in California!

Or what will otherwise go down in history as "Where In The World Is Aaron Rodgers???" because that is ALL JoJo seemed to really care about.

Other than hiding from the deer. Deer are scary. They carry ticks.

#HerdMigration

Jordan, on the other hand.. is showing off how well his new hair products let his locks frolic in the wind while he waits for his ticket to fame girlfriend arrive...

#SoExcited

He doesn't know when he's last been this excited about a girl! Not since his last one night stand! Or maybe it was the one before that...no, no... that one wasn't good. Maybe the one he had the day before he left to be on the show? Yeah, that must be it.

Anyways, he takes JoJo to where it all started for him.. his high school. Basically he just wanted to make out like a teenager all over campus and have an excuse to wear his Prom sash one more time.

They meet his old coach, and his old Spanish teacher, make out in the library, and then check out his coach's office and see *grasp the pearls* pictures of THE FAMOUS BROTHER all over the walls!!! Which pleases Jordan none because his brother is a sore subject for him.

JoJo persists though and was like "LOL, is that your brother's picture on the wall? What's his name again? Adam? HeeHee...He's so NORMAL I've like totally forgotten about him... TeeHee... oh that's right he's famous!!!...btw... umm... is he going to any award shows soon? No? Oh, I'm just asking for um, you know.. a friend..."

So.... Jordan and Aaron are not close. Jordan doesn't want to talk about why he and Aaron are not close and THIS IS NOT OK YOU GUYS.

I have to roll my eyes at the transparency of JoJo... it's very obvious how interested in Jordan's brother and that connection to fame she is because she would NOT let it go. I know lots of people who aren't close to their siblings. Does that seem weird? No. I've never dated a guy and went "red flag! you aren't close to your brother? THIS IS NOT OK. WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS OVER AND OVER AND FIGURE OUT WHAT THE FREAKING DEAL IS!!!" 

No. I'm a normal person who just goes "oh, so you aren't super close to your brother. Ok." 

JoJo on the other hand....

#TotesLegit

JoJo is nervous to meet Jordan's parents and needs everything to be perfect.. which is would be, if she could just hunt for clues about the missing FAMOUS BROTHER, dammit...

We hear a little bit about how Jordan was a "spicy" child (huh? like he tastes like cumin?) but none of that matters. The ONLY thing that matters, and that JoJo talks about ad nauseum, are those empty chairs... those chairs that should be holding the FAMOUS BROTHER and his A-LIST ACTRESS GIRLFRIEND, dammit!!!

#PutHisFaceOnAMilkCarton

JoJo gets a chance to talk to Jordan's brother Luke and guess what they talked about??? LOL, no not world peace... MUCH more important subject matters...

#SendingOutAnSOS

Luke was obviously very impressed with JoJo's appetite for fame and approves of JoJo because he just wants his brother to be insanely happy, which I'm afraid he won't be until he gets into even tighter jeans...

#LeggingsAren'tPants

JoJo then gets a chance to talk to Jordan's Dad and finds out so much relevant info on the guy she's really interested in. No, not Jordan, silly!!

AARON.

#ComeOutComeOutWhereverYouAre

Then apparently the producers told JoJo to knock off the Aaron obsession or something because suddenly Jordan was his OWN MAN. One she was falling in love with... and he was NO ONE'S brother...

Well, it looks like Jordan is going nowhere in this competition since JoJo basically said she's in love with him, and he just keeps giving her what she wants.

#PewPewPew

Next up we head to sunny sweaty Florida for Robby's date! He is PUMPED up... he's in love and he knows JoJo is gonna love him back after today, because she's gonna meet his family!!!

They meet up and JoJo has to whistle (because Robby can't... I feel his pain, I can't whistle either) and their horse-drawn carriage emerges for an ummm.... classy ride through town.

#NailedIt

They gallivant through town, then have some cocktails by the water and talk about Robby's shady past again. Like how quickly he broke up with his ex-girlfriend of 4 years, came on the show and is now in love again. Robby swears it is OVER but JoJo has her doubts about his timeline...

#ABC123

**Side note- I've said before, I know "stuff" because I read Reality Steve but since I know some of you don't want spoilers, I paraphrase his info on here. Reality Steve reported that filming of the The Bachelorette started March 17th. So go back a few weeks from that date... they are casting for the show all through February. Robby posted pics of him and said "ex" girlfriend on his social media account all through the month of January (even though he claims he broke up with her over Christmas) So really... you are looking at mere weeks between him being with his ex and him being on this show.**

Let's just say... for good reason....JoJo is afraid that she's basically a rebound, and that she's just filling in some void in Robby's life..

#PinkShirtsForDays

Anyways, on to meeting the parents who were all kinds of excited!!!

Robby's Dad insists JoJo calls him "Coach" which I think is a really weird thing for any adult to insist another adult to do, and I forbade my Coach husband from ever insisting the same, cuz...

#LittleWeird

Anyways, Robby goes off with his two brothers and they talk about how amazeballs JoJo is, how well she fits in with the family.... I mean, it was instant, like BAM! Or maybe more like Bada Bing, Bada Boom...

Robby is sooooooo happy his bros love JoJo so much because do they realize how much sleep he's gotten??? NONE. Do they realize how many panic attacks he's had? Like a GAZILLION....

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#GodBlessBobRoss

Robby's Mom gets her turn with JoJo and asks if there is anything she'd like to know about her dear son... and JoJo's was like "well.... there's that whole shady timeline issue" and Robby's Mom very seriously tries to convince JoJo that Robby is the real deal.

#GetYerStoriesStraight

Mom then gets her chance with Robby, to fill him in on super important current events... otherwise known as what his ex's roommate has been gossiping about, which pleased Robby none because he has worked HARD at tricking JoJo and getting this far on the show so he could be totes famous...

#HashtagsWillBeFlying

Robby then interrupts JoJo's talk with his sisters to drive the point home again that he's here for the RIGHT REASONS, which leaves JoJo a bit on the confused side...

They have a little argument of sorts because JoJo just doesn't really believe him so Robby used the old "throw your ex under the bus" tactic to win her over.... telling her that his ex slapped him during a huge fight and that he is DONE with her and if she ever THINKS about contacting him again, well....

And since JoJo has the world's worst taste in men, she decided she loved this about Robby and that she's just gonna TRUST.

Sigh.

Moving on...

It's Luke's date in Texas!!! JoJo makes it clear that Luke NEEDS to express his love to her, because she is a Words of Affirmation girl, remember? And if she isn't told she is loved every 2.4 seconds, well...

#UnderPressure

Luke takes JoJo out to someone's house for just a nice little casual get-together of oh... you know... everyone in the universe. Except for Aaron Rodgers because seriously you guys... WHERE IS AARON??????

JoJo was a bit overwhelmed as the mob started swelling toward her..

#WalkingDead

Luke chats with his Mom and she tells him she can tell JoJo thinks highly of him. Well, silly Mom... you do realize your son's bag of tricks, don't you?

Luke gets a chance to talk to his Dad and ask him how he knew he wanted to marry his Mom. Well, his Dad didn't have producers or that fancy TV thing-ma-jig to guide him, but he just knew, and what a great choice he made in marrying her!

#NowThatsTrueLove

Luke is having trouble fully opening up to JoJo, but feels good about things and wants that next chapter. Whatever that chapter may be, might I add....

#ThereAreRumors

After a BBQ lunch Luke has a surprise for JoJo! Which really is more like a surprise from the producers because they just HAD to get THAT angle of her getting on her horse????

Good thing they paid for JoJo to get a bikini wax. Seriously though, this show sometimes...

#SMH

They ride into the sunset, sit on some nicely decorated hay bales (because... Texas) and Luke still doesn't tell JoJo he loves her. But he does tell her he daydreams about her, and thankfully doesn't ask if she daydreams about him cuz he would have been sadly disappointed...

#SweetDreams

The remaining guys in the Herd assemble the next night for the Rose Ceremony, and they are all so nervous. For good reason. Since they will be getting on a jet immediately if they are given a rose, STAKES ARE HIGH.

#ByePinkShirts

JoJo has the hardest decision EVER to make, and feels like she needs to let go of Luke.... and she just feels SICK....

#ShouldaHadASlimJimInstead

Luke senses something is off, and knows he is on the chopping block... if only there was something he could do to save himself???

He interrupts JoJo and takes her outside to finally tell her he is falling in love with her.... but is worried he waited too long, and said all the wrong things....

#MaybeItWasTheHorse

JoJo is sent into a tail spin of dramatic misery as she wanders around the tarmac in her fabulous gown, disparaging over the injustice of all her First World Problems...

What is a girl to do???

WHAT, I ask you... WHAT???

Does she let Luke go? What will the world do without his smoulder?? It's all too STRESSFUL!!

Tune in tonight guys! It's Fantasy Suite time, and I hear there is *gasp* drama!